An unexpected God

I meant to post this last night, but our internet on campus shuts off at midnight. Here is my compassion journal for yesterday:

September 16, 2012

Today we finished up working with the HYM team doing the children’s ministry in Muncton. As awesome as it was to serve in that way, it was also super draining. I found myself worn out and irritable this afternoon. I started thinking about how it was possible for me to do ministry in the future if I am so easily drained. But then we got to go a service at Harvest House, and it was exactly what I needed. God was compassionate to me, and it made me excited again to be doing ministry. But then I looked over and saw Emily crying. A small group of us gathered around her. She was overcome by the pain of her past, wondering how God could ever use her despite all of her brokenness. I cried with her. But my compassion by comforting her is absolutely nothing compared to the comfort our Father gives. He showed both of us compassion today in a way we never would have expected.
 

Improvised Children's Ministry

September 15, 2012

Today we continued doing the children’s ministry in Muncton. We got the chance to teach the kids some dramas and dances, which was really difficult considering the youngest involved kids were 4 years old. I did find it kind of difficult to have compassion on them sometimes, because the things that they complain about are very first- world problems. But for the most part, the kids were absolutely wonderful. The same girl from last night, Leanna, ended up crying again after a couple of hours. So I took her aside again and prayed with her, and hung out with her till she felt better. God did give me the means to be compassionate for her, because I was a lot like her as a little girl, so I understood what she was going through. God has had a lot of compassion on me, so why shouldn’t I let that outpour into others? As soon as I run out of steam, His power takes over, and that’s when the most impactful moments happen.

How did I get here?

 Today was a crazy day. I thought I would be sitting in my dorm tonight, doing homework and Skyping people from back home, but instead I'm laying on the floor in a random family's house in Muncton, NB...... Info: HYM (harvest youth mission) is a traveling organization that does dramas and programs anywhere from street ministries to youth gatherings.

September 14, 2012

Today at lunch, I got asked to go on a weekend trip spur of the moment. Some of the HYM team was doing a ministry for the kids of families at a church convention in Muncton. I love the adventure of following Jesus. He knows I love adventure. It’s great because it forces us to rely on him when we have no idea what is going to come next. So I packed my bags in the 15 minutes I had left after class before we left, and jumped in the van, having no idea what to expect. We ended up in a hotel conference room doing dramas, skits, testimonies, and games for kids. It was crazy how different it was being in that environment after doing the Chicken Noodle Club. These kids were church kids. At first, I didn’t have a lot of motivation or energy to serve with these kids. I kept praying that God would give me some of His heart for them, because I didn’t have the capacity to serve them on my own. We had absolutely no clue how much time we had to put on this program for the kids. We expected maybe an hour or two. We had nothing planned except a couple of drama ideas. It was completely Spirit led. It ended up being four hours before the parents were done. But it was incredible how engaged the kids were the entire time. God worked through us. I got to connect and pray with some 6^th grade girls. It was awesome because I missed my middle school small group girls from back home. Then after we were playing games for a while, I noticed a little girl lying under the chairs crying. I approached her and lay down next to her. I asked her what was wrong, and had a hard time getting it out of her. Finally she said that she missed her mom. So I told her about how hard it was for me to go far away from home when I went to college, and how sad it was for me leaving my mom and being so far away, since I won’t be able to go home until Christmas. But God helped me through it, because I wouldn’t have been able to do it alone. She really listened. Then I sat with her a while and asked her about life and what she liked, trying to keep her mind off of everything. She didn’t end up joining the games, but was happy watching them. Its so funny sometimes how we think that we what we’re doing isn’t significant. These kids hear the name of Jesus all the time when there are cities full of Children who have no idea what love is. But everyone needs Jesus. Everyone needs love. Love never gets old. Because God is love and He never gets old. Whenever we have the chance to show someone compassion and love them in the way Jesus would, regardless of their life circumstances, that is significant.

Chicken Noodle Club

Background info:  Chicken Noodle Club is a program that serves children in the name of Jesus. Today we got to go to an inner city school in St. John, NB and make pancakes to serve to kids k- 8th grade who don't have a lunch to eat. Then we got to run an after school program for some of the younger kids (K-2nd grade)

September 13, 2012

Today we got to go help out at the Chicken Noodle Club with praxis. Again, I wasn’t sure what to expect, but I was trying to be open to what God was going to do. I didn’t have a specific job to do, so as lunch was served, I got to just hang out with the kids as they ate. I kind of jumped around to different groups of little kids. At one point, I was talking to a girl in grade 4, she suddenly stopped the conversation and looked at me, pointing to the end of the table and shouting “Kid crying!!” I got up and went to the end of the table where a little boy sat trembling and sobbing. I asked him what was wrong, and all he could respond with was “I can’t do this!” He looked at the nibbled at sandwich in front of him as he desperately tried to wrap it in plastic wrap and a napkin. “I don’t like it. I just can’t eat it!” I told him it was ok if he just threw it away and got a pancake instead. But he said, “No! I can’t throw it away! My mom will get mad at me!” I immediately felt so broken for this little guy, clearly carrying so much fear. “She gets mad when I throw food away because it’s a waste of money” I pictured what his life at home must be, poor in money and spirit. Finally I helped him wrap up his little sandwich and put it back in his lunchbox and got him a pancake. He started going off about differences in sandwiches, and I listened to him and laughed at his cute little stories. He was absolutely hilarious. But in the most lighthearted way, with eyelashes still damp with tears, he talked about how his dad would get mad at him too. My heart ached and I just wanted to cry. Then it was time for the kids to leave lunch, and we said goodbye.
During the afterschool program, I was coloring with a little girl when we were told to clean everything up. I told her she could just take her coloring page home and finish it later. “I don’t have any colors at home.” she said. She didn’t even have simple crayons. It hit me how much I took for granted as a child. Then I noticed a little guy sitting alone, who looked shy and sad. I went and sat next to him and asked him what his name was. He looked at me with a big smile and told me it was Austin. I asked him what he learned today, and he said, “that Jesus made me special!” I asked him if he believed it, and he responded that he did with a big smile. But out of nowhere he said, “you should see how often I get sick.” Again, that made my heart hurt. That’s not a normal random thing that kids say. As much as it hurt my heart to see some of the things these kids go through, it brought so much hope to see them get excited knowing that God made them special, and He is always with them. 

The beginning of transformation through compassion

This is my second week at Kingswood, and I am BLOWN away at what God has done. I am overwhelmed by everything that has happened. I could share so many stories and so many emotions that I have felt these past couple weeks, but instead, I'm going to start where I am, today. For one of my classes, Intro to Compassion Ministry, we have been given the task of writing 30 consecutive days of journalling how we have shown compassion for the day. So I thought I might as well post my Compassion Journal entries so you could have a little peek into what God's been doing in and through me...... and just a little preface for the day: Harvest House is a Christ- centered drug rehabilitation center.

September 12, 2012 

 Today I got the opportunity to go to Harvest House for the first time. I didn’t really know what to expect. Sometimes I like not knowing, but sometimes it drives me crazy. Today was one of those days I wasn’t really sure. We got to lead worship for the first class in the morning, and then had a time of testimonies, a message, and the opportunity to talk and pray with people. Emily and I got to talk and pray with a man named Rico who had only been in the center for about two weeks. I could tell that he wasn’t quite to the point where he was able to let go and be vulnerable, but I could see that he is starting to change. It was the first time he was sober in months, and he said that he is happier than he was before. He told us that he loved it at Harvest House, and I hope he really meant it.  He said that his parents are Atheists, so they never let him go to church. I don’t think he’s ever really heard the truth. I hope that he lets the truth transform him now. He was really open to us praying with him. He told us about his little brother, 17 years old, who has been trying to follow in his footsteps, selling drugs and committing crimes, but Rico is trying to tell him to straighten out his life. So we prayed for his brother, too. His other two brothers were killed in a gang fight. There is something so powerful about hearing people’s stories, especially when you know that someday God is going to take that story and use it to impact people in big ways. I don’t know if anything we said or did made a difference in him today, but I pray that God will continue to transform him.