About a year ago I started this blog. And in my very first post I included a free-write journal that I had written on the first day of school. At the time I was blown away by the ways that God had answered my prayers for that year. And today, as I try to wrap my head around everything that happened this school year, I can't help but reflect on what I posted the first day of my senior year:
I pray that we would simply be used as open vessels for the Holy Spirit to move through, and that our fear would be completely dissolved, because if our God is for us, who can be against us? I pray for the breaking down of the hearts of those who don't know Him... that their eyes would be opened to the God shaped hole inside of them... and that they see him in us... and they notice Him as the only thing that can fill their emptiness. I pray that they are overcome by hunger and thirst. Because only He can fully satisfy them, and He is the well that won't run dry....... This school year is Going to be different. I pray for childlike faith so that I can purely believe it will be.I can't fully express to you how much God answered this prayer. One evening in the middle of the school year I randomly stumbled on this post. My skin was immediately infested by goosebumps, and I sat in teary-eyed awe of how great our God is. Let me tell you. Fear was dissolved. Hearts were broken down. And I watched as people were overcome by a hunger and thirst for their maker.
Ok... the entire school was not transformed into a body of people passionate about Jesus. But I remember the first week of school when I heard three people... the last three people I would ever expect... vocalize in front of an entire class that they wanted to "Know God more". I remember sitting in the computer lab as I heard a girl ask word for word "How do I know for sure that I'm going to heaven?" I remember sitting across a table from a student asking me question upon question about why I believe what I believe. I remember sitting at a table of girls one day who wanted to know the purpose of life. I remember the bus ride home when the girl sitting next to me asked me why I believe God exists. And I remember watching students who barely knew Jesus at the beginning of the year literally fall flat on their face and dance uncontrollably in worship, because after truly experiencing God, it was all they could do in response.
And these are just a few of the moments that stick out to me.
And no... I didn't have the courage to waltz down the hallways announcing that Jesus is the only one that can save. But.... God gave me the courage to do what I never in a million years thought I could do. Stand on a stage in front of hundreds of people exposing the depths of my heart and what Jesus has done in it. From the mime that I did for speech contest and talent show... to the song that I wrote and did at Pops Show.... the Holy Spirit was the one at work through all of it. Not me. I was just kinda there, shaking like a scared kitten because of terrible stage fright and the fear of failing. If it would have been me up there, I definitely would have failed. But it wasn't me, and God doesn't fail. And one of the biggest blessings was getting to watch as some of my closest friends and biggest encouragers were used as vessels for the spirit to use in absolutely incredible ways. Wow.
So... even though we didn't really do anything this year... it's ok, because God has already done it all.
