Inspired... without Inspiration.

         It's 12:05 A.M. and I feel a strong need to post a blog. So here's what's gonna happen... because I have no idea what to write about... I'm gonna try to just let my fingers do all the work (as they attack the keyboard) and let my mind wander a bit. Kinda like I talked about in my first post.... let's see where it takes us. No planning. If it turns out awful, I will probably just delete it. If not, I guess you guys get to see it.
         Ok, so here I go. The train of my mind feels like it's pulling into a train station. something like that. I don't even know. But what I do know is this... I'm at a loss for words... actually more like a loss for thoughts... it's like I have learned so much and thought about so many different things, that nothing seems new anymore. It's like all of the thoughts that I think, I've thought before. And I hate that. I don't want to be stagnant. I want to Know more about Jesus every day. I want to know Him more everyday. And what is stopping me? I'm lazy. I know I've mentioned it before, but seriously, the only way that I can learn more and know him more and hear him in ways that I've never heard Him before is if i seek after Him with all that I am... I know that I say that I live my life for Him, and that's true to the core of my being, but really, why am I so lazy then? why can't I spend hours every day reading his word? Those precious hours I spend hanging out with friends or accomplishing literally nothing while sitting on Facebook. Why would I not want to spend it with the God of the Universe? We are called to love people, and I believe that wholeheartedly, but it's pretty difficult to love difficult people when you're not spending enough time loving God. I hate the fact that we as Christians (Myself especially included) talk talk talk... talk about Jesus... talk about how we should be like Jesus... talk about how it would look if we actually lived like Him... talked about reading the Bible more, and spending more time with God, and loving people no matter what, and influencing the world yet not conforming to the pattern of it, and being less selfish, and being more radical, and so on. It's all amazing. But why are we. so. lazy? Why are we so reluctant to put every. single. one. of. those. into. action. Not 10 years from now, not 5 years from now, not when we graduate, or move, or whatever, not a month from now, and not tomorrow. But now. Today. Action. It's a terrifying word. Action. It sounds hard. It sounds challenging and uncomfortable. That's because it is. We aren't meant to live an easy life. Not even close... that's what heaven is for. But here's the thing. God shines the brightest through the darkness... It's easy when we are content in our easy life, when everything is going perfectly, to forget about who He is instead of being so captivated by him. But when life is sticky and broken, is when his healing cleansing gloriousness shines through. I think I have a point to this... When we take action, we are also taking risk. huge huge risk. But when we put ourselves out on a limb, we will be way more likely to feel him supporting us, holding us...or if we fall, catching us..... than if we were sitting in a tree house...or better yet, sitting on the ground. safe... and stagnant.
           ok... so I don't know how much of that made any sense... but I guess I'm ok with that. Planning and organization is overrated... for me at least.

p.s. If I remain stationary after all this talk about movement and risk and action... you have official permission to call me a hypocrite and shun me for life.